Many people in the S & M community would have you think
of their craving as just another sexual orientation.
They equate it to people having different
tastes in ice cream.
Some people like vanilla
(their term for referring to traditional heterosexual activity) while others
prefer more exotic flavors like bubble gum or rocky road.
They refer to Sadomasochism and bondage as a
more intense encounter that somehow provides for them a deeper connection with
someone.
Many of them do not understand
why they have these desires; they only know that it arouses them. They feel
wired like that and will even say they were born that way.
Several claim to have had such desires since
childhood and lack a traumatic family incident to explain why.
The sadist likes to inflict pain on their
partner. They enjoy seeing someone writhe in pain.
They are excited by having absolute power and
control over their subject. The masochist likes to be bound and beaten; they
would explain they are “too shy to relinquish control naturally.”
The masochist seeks a type of emotional
catharsis rather than pleasure.
Being
bound or forced to do something somehow alleviates the pent up emotions of guilt
associated with doing naughty things.
The bondage provides their conscience a bridge to feel and explore those
things they would normally deem forbidden.
“Some people have to be tied up to be free,”
As one described.
All of these testimonials prove my point
regarding lust.
I said in a previous
post that Lust is not love.
How can
anyone deriving pleasure from someone else’s pain be called loving?
If they do out of personal gratification,
they are only thinking of themselves and not the other person, by
definition.
How can anyone say nothing
is wrong with the person enjoying sadistic behaviors?
Only hurting or demented people like to hurt
people.
If you do it out of repressed
anger or you do it out of sheer evil, something is clearly wrong with your
head.
I don’t say this to be offensive,
but to exhort people to really examine their heart motives and get help.
Forcing someone to do something that is not
good for them cannot be called love.
This should be common sense to people, but unfortunately it’s not.
Society has removed the label of
sadomasochism as a deviant sexual behavior and this has confused the issue for
some people.
Painting the activity as
somehow therapeutic is not helpful either.
I am not trying to put limits on sex for married couples.
God made sex good.
He made it a garden of delight to be explored
between two married people who love each other.
However, a line should clearly be drawn when it comes to harming your
partner.
To prove something as
therapeutic, you must show it has lasting benefits to one’s personal
health.
It’s hard to make a case that
hurting someone does that for either the dominatrix or the submissive.
If it damages a person or even results in
their death, how can it be labeled as good for your health?
People take this to the extreme all the time
and die for it.
All your neighborhood rapists, serial
killers, and psychopaths are people who let their sadistic tendencies and
fantasies get the best of them. Some may claim this is only done in fun, not in
real life.
They say “I will hurt you,
but I will not harm you.”
But I say if
you have no real intention of harming someone, why dream about it in the first
place?
Real love does what is best for
their partner because they first think about what’s best for their
partner.
As a masochist, if your goal is
to lose your identity and abdicate control, how then can you really keep things
from going too far?
Why leave yourself
vulnerable to someone who enjoys your hurt?
Why play with the pathological?
Why not rather just deal with psychological inhibitions you have in the
first place?
Real love submits because
of free choice not coercion.
They give
because they want to and not because they have to.
Real love sheds it’s inhibitions to give and
receive rather than simply nurture one’s personal hang ups thru
compulsion.
I would hardly label the
marriage bed as vanilla if it frees you to be naked and not ashamed.
Can there be a more spiritual experience than
God’s Spirit indwelling you to love your partner?
Can a deeper connection be made than when a
person freely loves without feelings of pain, shame, or guilt? God knew what He
was doing when He made the marriage institution.
Following his instruction always brings the
greatest blessing.
Everything else is a
poor substitute at best.
Related Links:
References
healthyplace.com/“The
pleasure of the pain and why some People need S and M- Sadomasochistic Sex.”,
No comments:
Post a Comment