Rape, Sexual Violence, & Abuse: Why brute force it when there’s a better way

People resort to violence because they lack understanding when it comes to love.

The only way to make people do what you want is to make them want to do it.  Some resort to violence to create this incentive for people.   It’s really the brute force approach to trying to get what you want.  It may appear to be the quick way of getting it done but it happens to be the hardest way.  Getting your spouse to capitulate to your demands with the least amount of effort is always the best strategy possible.  Love is always the highest way.  Love holds the highest rewards and costs you the least to achieve them.  Let love create the incentives for people to give you what you want. A truly loved and fulfilled wife or husband will normally do anything for you.  Love can break a person’s resistance without having to fight.   Short tempered people resort to violence because they don’t understand this way. Their frustration at not being able to resolve their conflicts causes them to lose their composure. Violence is the strategy of last resort. People wrapped up with their feelings usually let their feelings get the best of them.  Focus on yourself can make it very difficult for you to see where others are coming from. It makes it difficult to find a solution that’s a win for both of you.  You are not thinking of the interests of another when you hurt them.  Resorting to violence is about controlling someone not loving them. It’s about lust trying to have it’s own way.  You do not love people when you harm them.  Knee jerk reactions before thinking things through will always cause you to do foolish things.  Impulsive violent reactions will back fire on you.   Knowing your spouse is the key to winning someone’s heart over.  Having the patience to think through your actions and the reactions of your spouse is always the sure way to success.  You will never have real love from someone by forcing them to show it.

The path of Violence will always cost you more than you think.

Violence is not a good path.  People usually don’t think this path through it to it’s logical conclusion before taking it.  Any gains to be had from violence are normally short lived.  A person may win a battle for a time, but they rarely win the war.  The resentments that follow hold consequences that are normally not accounted for.  Violent people normally do not count these costs.  No matter how difficult people are to deal with, hurting them only makes it harder.   There is no honor to be had in forcing yourself on someone.  Even if you can, it does not mean that you should.  Resort to violence once and you forever lose their goodwill and cooperation.  No one will work with you when it is not in their own self-interest to do so.  An offended spouse can become very unyielding.  Self-preservation can make people fight better than they have ever fought before.  Even if you break them for the moment, the contest is not over.  They still have family that loves them and a Government all too willing to take up their cause.  When you coerce them thru violence, they now have a motive to see your demise.  A patient adversary only has to wait for their opportunity to capitalize on your vulnerability to defeat you. There is always a time when people are vulnerable; determined people can find them in the most unlikely places.  You have to go to sleep sometime.  When you do, they will get you.  If not the victim, then it’s their family, the government, or their God that goes after you.  A violent person always has to watch his back.  The one who kills will always remain a fugitive on the run.    It’s always better never to give people a reason to harm you in the first place.  Ask for trouble and you will usually find it.   

Taking Control of a fight begins with taking control of your Temper

A person cannot really win apart from careful and thoughtful planning even in a fight.  Everyone has conflicts.  Why try to resolve them the hard way when you can resolve them the smart way.  Having control of a situation always begins with controlling your temper.  Maintaining composure enables you to approach things on your own terms where you cannot be defeated.  If people wish to escalate things, the disciplined composure allows you to slow the situation down.  Patience really does pay off in the end.  People may see patience as a sign of weakness but it is not.  It actually takes more personal strength not to overreact in a heated discussion.  It takes two people to keep a fight going.  Just because one person is crazy, does not mean you have to get crazy.  Conflicts can always cease if you make a concerted choice to end them.  Knowing the disastrous consequences to violence should make a person want to bring their conflicts to resolution quickly.  The Bible says not to let the sun go down on your wrath.  Just because your spouse speaks the loudest does not make them right.  Knowing your spouse’s positions and reactions enables you to take the appropriate steps to resolve the conflict.  

Related Links:
Why Should I avoid Sexual Immorality?
Rape, Molestation, Abuse: How God's Law protects you
Pornography & Erotica only breeds envy
Voyeurism, Peeping, Staring: Not only Breeds Envy but Shame
Lust,Desperation-why it is unattractive.
Sexual Temptation:why fight the feeling? 
Why Porn can't Spice up your Sex Life: Life imitates Art
Promiscuity, Orgies, & Polygamy: Only Raise Costs not Benefits
Flirtation, Seduction, & Innuendo: Only a Fool's Errand
Adultery & Fornication: Outside the Marriage Bed you only get Screwed
Affairs, Infidelity: You cannot find love with a cheat
Prostitution, Harlotry: You cannot buy Real Love
Masturbation: What can be more Selfish?