Ask the Bible Teacher Blog: Masturbation: What can be more Selfish?

The medical community and most of society often tout all masturbation as a healthy activity. Avoiding unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases is normally considered a good thing. Nothing is wrong with experiencing sexual pleasure in itself. Alleviating sexual tension seems to make everyone less crazy. If the ordeal only involves you, how could you be hurting someone else? So goes the mainstream thinking.

Most Forms of Masturbation are a Form of Selfishness

As a result, many people have given up on cultivating relationships with the opposite sex and resort to masturbation instead. It normally has to do with selfishness. Let face it, a relationship with someone takes effort, time, and money. Real people require entanglements, commitment, intimacy, and foreplay. In short, they take work and patience on our part. Taking care of our own needs can be faster than a date and drinks. Masturbation often becomes all about us. What form of sex can be more selfish than masturbation? It cannot foster love when it’s all about you; it can only be lust. All you do is learn to objectify people from the practice. People become only good for what you can get out of them. It does not build character within people. It does not build relationships in society. Cultivating such a sentiment of selfishness is not really healthy for anyone in the long run.

The Biblical View of Masturbation

How does the Bible address the topic of masturbation? Scripture makes no blanket prohibition against it; the subject actually remains a Biblical gray area. Adding or subtracting to God’s law is never wise. Making universal statements one way or the other only makes you look ridiculous from some vantage point. This leaves many people confused when they really should not be. When the Bible outlaws something, it’s because the behavior is universally wrong in all cases, no exceptions. Moral absolutes are always black and white issues. When Scripture does not outlaw something, it provides general guidelines for discernment. Gray issues always depend on circumstances of the heart; what a person really intends by an action. Knowing motives always makes such issues black and white again.

Why most Forms of Masturbation are Sinful

It’s not a sin just to touch yourself. Washing your private parts in the shower should not be deemed evil by anyone standards. In fact, I hope you clean yourself well before entering any public swimming pool I am in. The moral issue always comes down to why you do what you do. Masturbation always entails some form of sexual arousal. The moral determinant for the practice has everything to do with what is causing that arousal? If you are fantasizing about the man or woman next door when you do it, it becomes a problem. Scripture tells us clearly not to covet. The Bible makes no distinction between having an affair with your neighbor’s wife and simply lusting over her. Whether the deed is inward or outward does not matter; adultery is always adultery. If you are simply fantasizing about some imaginary person, it’s not good either. Making love to some incubus or succubus is also a form of Idolatry; clearly forbidden in Scripture. A God of Integrity requires our inside motives to be as pure as our outward deeds. Any practice that promotes envy and duplicity in people cannot be considered healthy. These guidelines make most cases of masturbation wrong even without a clear prohibition outlined in Scripture. It’s never a good idea to awaken sexual passion when you do not have a safe marriage partner to share them with.

Masturbation as it pertains to the Marriage Bed

What if your arousal comes from thinking about your marriage partner? Again it depends. If pleasing yourself leaves your partner unwillingly out of the game, it’s being selfish. Many husbands and wives would feel cheated if they lost out an opportunity to fulfill their own partner’s sexual needs. People often do this because they are unwilling to share and be vulnerable. In doing so, they rob their partner of sexual intimacy. I would ask you why not just have sex with your marriage partner? Wouldn’t a real person be better than a hand or a toy? If you disagree, you’re not giving your partner a chance. Most spouses really want the opportunity to learn this and they can. Why not allow your marriage partner to become the man or woman of your dreams? On the other hand, if your sexual arousal involves your spouse exclusively, the practice becomes permissible. God is not against two married people exploring their bodies together. The Song of Solomon actually celebrates how marriage partners can explore and enjoy each other’s garden of delights. God made all this and called it good. The Bible clearly states in Hebrews how the marriage bed is undefiled. God is not a religious prude; He doesn’t flippantly put undue limits on people’s pleasure. He guides people in the way to love.

Gaining Self Control of your Masturbation Habit

What if you don’t have a partner? Well I would recommend looking for a marriage partner. How do you cope in the mean time? Well you man up and control your thoughts. All of your sexual passions are fueled by your thoughts. Control your thoughts and your passions will be reigned in. The secret to self control always comes with learning to turn off what you have turned on. The fruit of a Godly Spirit is self control. Taking your thoughts captive will do this. God gave you a will and He expects you to use it. Heroes don’t wait until they feel like it. They have a battle to win. They just do what has to be done. In a battle where it’s kill or be killed, what real alternative do you really have? Get control of your sexual thoughts and your feelings will follow. If you don’t, your passions will get the best of you and destroy you in the end.

Ask the Bible Teacher Blog

Friday, August 8, 2014

Masturbation: What can be more Selfish?

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